You’ll remember in my previous post that last week was a pretty positive week for two important reasons, and I left you hanging with regards to the second. I think it’s about time I fill you in…

On Tuesday, thanks to a mutual friend who knows about my desire to be a writer in some shape or form and in turn of my struggles to get into work, I had the pleasure of meeting Franky, a freelance copywriter with her own business: Love Audrey. Franky specialises in copywriting for creatives and small businesses, especially in the wedding industry. I was over the moon to meet with her, but also more than a little overwhelmed. We talked for well over an hour about her route into the industry and she answered all my questions with warmth and infectious enthusiasm. She put me at ease immediately and no question felt silly, though to my ears they sometimes sounded so!

I’ve always loved the idea of going freelance, but as my circumstances stand now I don’t feel I’m ready and able to do so… the thought of setting up my own business and going self employed is overwhelming; especially in terms of it not being secure in terms of a regular income: some months might be quieter than others, and so on. Also, more importantly, I’m still learning about my voice and style as a writer, and know that I can and will get better the more I do.

With that in mind, Franky and I came up with a plan. I need to build up my portfolio of work, and not be afraid to put myself out there. She also gave me some tips about being a better blogger in terms of my commitment and how regularly I’m posting. I’ve broken down my week into days for research, drafting, proofreading and so on… with the idea of giving me some focus and routine (although admittedly I haven’t quite stuck to this strictly just yet), and I’ve written myself a working document with all my outstanding posts and ideas. I’m one of those kinds of people who benefits hugely from having someone “crack the whip” in order to focus. I work better with my writing if I have a deadline, so I’m trying to put a routine into practise. We talked about my aspirations as a creative, and how and why I felt writing is my path. She was really complimentary about my work so far, I even managed to talk with her about an idea I’ve had and want to run with (watch this space!) more articulately than I’ve ever managed before! Her insight was invaluable and I left with my determination to succeed and focus renewed.

I say renewed because I found myself at a bit of a low ebb these past few months. I’m back on the hunt for a job since May after six months as a receptionist administrator for a Housing Association. I liked the people, but it turned out without going into major details, I wasn’t able to carry out my duties to the standard expected of me struggling in an environment that wasn’t set up properly for my needs, and work to make it so was painfully slow and kept being pushed back. There was talk of extending my probationary period with the caveat that they would need to see some improvement, but in the end I just decided I wasn’t cut out for administrative duties and did not need to be somewhere where I was going to be judged for doing the best I can with the set up I had.

It caused a little bit of friction with my family, who I hadn’t told of my intention to quit, but I eventually realised that this stemmed more from their anxiety about how I was going to cope and how long it took me to get that job.  Fair parental concerns of course, and I’m grateful that they are loving and supportive, but I want to take ownership of my choices and their consequences, as adults do. Jobhunting is difficult for anybody, but having a disability makes it moreso in my experience because you’re at the mercy of other people’s perceptions of you, and simply wether you can get into and the building. I’ve had more rejections to add to the growing list over the past few months, including last week for a job as a copywriter for a prestigious theatre company that I really wanted at least an interview for, and a publishing company who did see me for interview but I wasn’t further shortlisted due to my lack of a NCTJ (National Council for Training of Journalists) qualification. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not hurt by the rejections, and it still fills me with dread trying to sell myself. What my chat with Franky taught me though, is I need to work smarter, not harder: play to my strengths and look into the kind of companies I want to work for, because you work better if you write about that what you’re passionate about. I’m seeing a change already simply in that I’m not applying just for anything and everything as I was when I got the receptionist job. I’m looking specifically into copywriting, social media and things of that ilk. I’m still reviewing for BroadwayWorldUK, and writing on here. At the moment I don’t know if it will lead to anything, but I know for sure I’m enjoying the journey now I’ve a new direction!