Dear Sir Matthew, the Company of Swan Lake and everyone at New Adventures,

It feels somewhat redundant to be writing you this so long after the event. Partly because I initially thought I’d said everything I would need to say in the review I gave the show on its Press Night here, and also because I wasn’t sure I could find the words to properly articulate what I wanted to say; so I put it off for all these weeks. Then I realised that it felt more important to me to write this, however inadequate it seems…

I’ve always had a bit of a love/hate relationship with dance. I’m in awe of the skill and artistry, but it’s often mixed with a whole load of other emotions, which stem from my disability. I have Cerebral Palsy and use a wheelchair, and the condition essentially limits what I’m capable of physically. So, watching dance often fills me with a weird mixture of envy and intense sadness. It’s not a great headspace to be in, and I’m consistently doing my best to overcome that negativity as it’s something I wrestle with throughout my day to day life.

Going to the theatre when you have my disability can be a bit of a pain because it limits where I’m able to sit. At both of my locals: one theatre has four wheelchair spaces, the other only two. Rightly then, when New Adventures come to town, attempting to get one’s paws on a ticket can be incredibly hard, and lead to disappointment when it doesn’t happen! I missed out on tickets for every production that’s come my way so far, most recently your version of Cinderella which I was incredibly sad about – I loved the premise and the idea behind the setting. Because I’d missed out so often, I began to think the closest I’d get to seeing Swan Lake would be that incredibly poignant snippet at the end of Billy Elliott…

Then, when the opportunity to review the anniversary production of Swan Lake, I begged to be the one who could do it, and happily got my wish! Having only ever reviewed plays and musicals before, I was really anxious about ballet, as I worried I don’t know much about it from a technical point of view. My fellow reviewers over at BroadwayWorldUK reassured me to simply approach it as I would any other piece, and just enjoy the experience! I had to repeatedly remind myself I was there to review and be subjective, when my knee jerk reaction was to love everything, which of course I did, but let’s delve a little deeper into why…

Knowing my complicated feelings about dance, I was totally unprepared for the intensity of feeling Swan Lake gave me. Going home and into bed, I was lying awake a bit shaky and overwhelmed, so much so I even shed a few tears. It was an amazing feeling and I’ve never experienced it with a musical or play before! I took so much away from Swan Lake – it moved me, made me laugh and challenged me to think about my identity and the relationships I have – all qualities I prize in work I’ve loved whatever form the art takes. Being a relative novice to the world of ballet, I am in awe of the quality of movement and the artistry – I loved simply being able to watch everyone breathe, the sound as dancer’s feet hit the floor after a jump, and the way you can express everything without saying a single word.

You all are immensely talented and thus it feels wrong to single anyone out, but I wanted to say a few individual thankyous:

To Dominic – Your Prince was a wonderful blend of charm and vulnerability and it was a joy to watch you tell his story – the depth and understanding you give to even the smallest details is astonishing!

To Nicole – The Queen is the character I couldn’t get a firm handle on, and I loved how nuanced you made her – she was this beautiful jumble of strength, sass and aloofness and I found you said just as much with your eyes and expression as you did with your dancing – thankyou for making me laugh and moving me in equal measure.

To Katrina – You were “The Girlfriend” on my evening and I was so happy to have watched you- you were so sweet and funny and I could see a lot of myself in her!

To Glenn, my Private Secretary – You made him such a suave, formidable and interesting figure, I loved seeing you onstage, even in those moments I probably wasn’t supposed to like him all that much.

And to Will, my Swan and Stranger – Thankyou feels BEYOND inadequate. Watching you dance both of these roles was my privilege: your presence and charisma is absolutely thunderous and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. I hope one day soon to see you dance again, and to be able to tell you in person how wonderful you were and what seeing this show meant to me. Until that time, I guess the written word will have to do…

I hope one day to see a New Adventures at Sadler’s Wells. I cannot thank you all enough, cast and creatives alike for such a phenomenal experience. You’ve opened up my eyes to the joy of watching dance, and therefore start making peace with my limitations, something I’ll be ever grateful for!

Photo: Johan Persson

With love and my best wishes,

Kerrie